SWEET LITTLE ROCK ‘N’ ROLLER

“Is that your friend?!”

I turned and there was this girl, shouting through the clamor of the throng - a hot blonde covered in black leather & cigarette smoke.

“Yeah… Did he try anything?!”

Out on the terrace, the music was roaring, the play of boy-meets-girl soaring… so I couldn’t tell if she heard my reply. The vamp inhaled her cigarette and looked from me to Gary.

“That slut he’s trying to fuck…! She’s married to that bum!” she shouted close to my ear.

I looked to where she was pointing - a bearded & tattooed gorilla, drenched in gold & labels was sucking on a cigar a few tables away.

“How the fuck is that shit even allowed in here…? This place is going to the dogs!”

“He’s a shit, all right! But if you still wanna have a sidekick in the morning, get him away from her…! Take it as a friendly advice!” she shouted behind a smile.

She turned and walked away, smoke & lewd perfume soaring in her tracks. Minutes from her word to the wise, I could see Gary leading the bum’s wife into the restroom.

Some glasses of scotch later, he came out with a big smile on his face.

“That good, huh?”

“Pretty decent, yeah… Chick knows a thing or two,” he said.

“So another satisfied customer.”

“Yeah! What the fuck’s wrong with you? Haven’t seen any action tonight! Did Hunt break it over Christmas?!”

“Pretty much… That and I’m trying to stay chaste for Romania’s finest,” I inhaled my cigarette.

“A fucking old pussy did what Hot Legs & Hunt never could!” he smiled, lighting a smoke.

“46 doesn’t necessary make her old, buddy-boy… And her pussy knows more fun stuff than any slut’s around.”

“You’ve been to the area, who am I to disagree?” he smiled. “C’mon, this shit’s about to start.”

We killed our cigarettes and walked inside the joint. The place was packed, a gig about to start now that the soundcheck was done with. We somehow managed to grab a table in front of the stage.

“Who are they?” asked Victor.

“I don’t know, but I’ve heard pretty decent shit during the soundcheck… ‘80s mostly,” replied Gary. “So it might ignite some sweat ‘round here…!” he continued to me.

It definitely did, right then and there… Not the music, but the porno singer.

The blonde that warned me about Gary’s boner-generator mounted the stage and shoved her mic into the stand with a dirty smile.

“Looking good!” jolted Gary in my ear.

“Pretty groovy songstress, yeah…” I said, killing the scotch.

The girl got right into the hard stuff, Don’t Stop Me Now filling the place.

“Nice pipes, too!” screamed Gary, full of acclaim.

His enthusiasm turned short-lived. The next second, he was falling to the ground, two feet away… people around stumbling, some following him to the floor.

I turned and saw the bearded & tattooed gorilla, the log he most certainly calls a leg still up. He had shoved it against Gary’s lower back.

The shit made to hit him some more. My fist found his covered-in-pubes chin. My second his fat stomach. The bum stumbled for a second, spit blood, then charged. He growled and punched my ribs. The second was meant for my chin, but I slipped it. Two Gucci - wearing gibbons were approaching the scene - his reinforcements. One knocked Victor down. The three shits were getting ready to do the same with me, but Gary stood up just in time.

I punched the first shit, hopefully breaking his snout. Gary threw a sublime kick in another’s ribs. People around jumped on the third as waiters & security were approaching the scene.

“ON YOUR KNEES!” screamed a guard. 

He was having the gorilla in a headlock. Two of his colleagues were mirroring for the other beards. They somehow managed to drag the shits out of the joint. In all the commotion, I never realized the clamor had stopped - the place was dead silent, everyone looking at us. The music had died, the band looking puzzled, all but the hot singer, who was smiling and shaking her head slowly in my direction.

“… And this is what happens when you let beards & tattoos in decent places, ladies and gentlemen,” I told the crowd.

The singer flashed another smile and resumed her métier.

About an hour later, the clock struck midnight and the gig met its racy end. The spell of booze and smokes starting to wane, Gary & I were making our way through tipsy merrymakers, heading out the mighty doors. We walked down the wooden deck, passing a sloshed gang smoking pot near the entrance.

“That’s ours,” said Gary, showing to the Uber over in the parking lot.

We were heading down to it, when a voice rang behind us.

“You should have taken my advice!”

The vamp was all smiles, killing her cigarette with her leg.

“Is that the singer? What the hell’s she talkin’ about?” asked Gary, the strain of cowardly attack still in his voice.

“Doesn’t matter anymore, buddy-boy.”

The girl walked up to us.

“You got off easy, he put a fucker in hospital for a week just for looking at his slut… Consider yourself lucky,” she told Gary.

“Do I look lucky?” asked Gary, rubbing his shoulder.

“You should have stopped him…”

“What the fuck’s she talkin’ about?”

“She told me about that cracker… The one you introduced to your nether parts in the restroom.”

“And now you tell me?!”

“You’re alive, ain’t you?”

“Barely…”

“I saw the action, nice punches!” said the blonde.

“Thank you… And thanks for your friendly advice.”

“Anytime,” she smiled.

“This is Gary… And this is… Sweet, Little Rock ‘n’ Roller…” I continued to him.

“Emma. My name is Emma,” smiled the singer, shaking his hand, her eyes in mine.

“When you’re done jerking around, feel free to get in…” said Gary, showing to the car. “Nice meeting you, Norma Jeane,” he continued to her.

“Why don’t you stay for a hit?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I might…” I told her. “Sure you’re ok? No need for anesthesia or a nurse to bring a pill?” I asked Gary.

“There ain’t no doctor that can cure my disease…”

“You guys have nice tastes!” she smiled.

“Bon Jovi in your repertoire?” I asked.

“Could be… If you stay for a cigarette.”

“I’d love me some Bon fucking Jovi right now, buddy-boy. You go on, I’ll get another car.”

“You play nice now…” he smiled at us.

He turned and got into his Uber.

“Nice guy,” she said, leading me to some more secluded corner.

I was now leaning against the building, the vamp screaming lust in front of me.

“Definitely has his moments.”

“Here,” she said, taking out a joint and lighting it.

I made to take it, but she pulled it away. Her left pressed my hand down, her right slowly putting the weed between my lips.

She allowed me a short drag before she took it away. The next second, her tongue replaced the Jane. It was burning on mine, her teeth making blood jolt out of my lips.

Three hours in Eden’s gate, her breath was now settling, her lips painting burning thrills on my neck, her body still sweating on mine.

“I think I want the weekly pass…” she breathed, reaching for the champagne.

“An honor and a privilege,” I said, flaming two smokes, passing one to her.

“Might be complicated, though… I have a boyfriend,” she confessed.

“And why would that be complicated?”

“‘Course it won’t… For you. For me, yeah…” she said, biting my lips.

“Why don’t you drop his ass?”

“Been together for years… He’s older…”

“Gross! Always gross when the guy is older,” I said, fingers down her burning spine.

“Yeah… I was young and stupid when I started with him.”

“That’s why they go for younger rips. They can’t handle and fool a grown-ass woman, so they start lookin’ for boner-garages ‘round schools.”

“Welcome to my nightmare… I’m not happy anymore. Don’t know if I ever was, but now I sure ain’t… It’s complicated with him, too…”

“Closeted gay?”

“Constantly cheats on me. Promises he’ll stop, says he’d kill for me, that I’m his everything… only to cheat on me over & over again with any hand-me-down that would have him…”

“The story of every nice girl ‘round these fucking parts.”

“Yeah… That’s why now… I think I wanna complicate my life… Here, with you…”